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Author Topic: Peetza  (Read 3739 times)
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« on: August 10, 2007, 03:30:49 PM »

The subject heading is a clue to the smell in my former hotel room here in Phoenix.

So my day began at 5:30AM--I'm sure I've said this before, but one of the things I miss about living in Burbank was being 6 minutes from the airport. Now I have to leave an hour and a half to make my flights. So I was ready to be my normal lack of sleep incredibly grumpy morning self, and the incredibly long line (I swear it was 1/4 mile long..I had time to count the feet) for security didn't help...BUT, I was denied my temper tantrum by, of all people, the TSA agent. They pulled aside my geetar (or in this story, "Peetar"..more on that in a moment), and did endless chemistry tests on it. They opened it, prodded it, probed, strobed, totally defiled the poor thing. As said agent was closing the peetar case up, he gestures for me to come over. Not a good sign. Did someone from the 80's slip some blow into my case? Am I a pothead and I've done so much I forgot I was one and left some spliff in the case pocket? Is there a law against carrying Soy Delicious in guitar cases?

Me: "Yes?"
TSA: "You Kyle Vincent?"
Me: "Yeah"
TSA: "Wake me up when the world's worth waking up for?"
Me (after CPR): "Yes, that was me"
TSA: "I love that song. I just put it in my ipod;was just listening to it today"
TSA: "So, are you playing a show today?"
TSA: "Well, you can take the guitar"   
Me: "Oh, uh, wow...thanks, thank you, that's so cool..yeah, I'm off to Phoenix"
TSA: "It was nice meeting you"
Me: "I like peanuts"

Such a great and unexpected way to begin the day, and from such an unexpected source. Although, it's not the first time it's happened with security at an happened coming back from the UK in Chicago once, with a U.S. customs agent. I guess I'm bubbling under the Airport Security Hot 100.

Both flights went off without a hitch, although if you asked the young lady sitting next to me from Chicago to PHX she might have another take. I think I was snoring, probably drooling as well, and she violently hit her overhead light button to wake me up. I tried to explain to her that my drool was vegan, but she just kind of stared ahead. I get that a lot.

I've come to fear hotels. There's this moment of anxiety as I put in the electronic card to enter the room. Please let the room be OK so I can just sprawl on the bed naked with my cheeseless peetza. The key worked, good first impression. But then....the whif of all whifs. Does whif have two 'f's? Oh my. I don't know who had the room before me, but apparently they had some sort of difficulty finding the bathroom.
Thankfully the fine folks downstairs moved me to a non-pee room, and all is well. Nap time before show time.

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« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2007, 04:57:22 PM »

Honestly, there just isn't anything better than a KV story about flying to one of his shows.  I don't know what it is about you and flying or maybe it's just your story telling, but they are always the funniest reads. 

Just loved reading about the TSA agent!  That is really awesome!  And having a friend at the TSA might come in handy one of these days...

I bet it's about half the degrees here on the east coast as it is in AZ...the thermometer here today reads 57.  No lie.
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« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2007, 06:53:13 PM »

the talent says:
>>I tried to explain to her that my drool was vegan, but she just kind of stared ahead. I get that a lot. >>

Is this the first time you've used this pick up line? 

From this post alone, a great country song could be had.  The stash in the geetar, the rude awakening from a blissful vegan drool induced dream to the heartbreaking end alone in bed with a cheeseless pizza.  It's all there.

OK, I'm know I'm a softie but I LOVED hearing about the encounter the airport with the TSA guy.  Very cool.

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